“When Doubt, like an airbag, attendeth my way…”
I know that this should read “When PEACE, like a river attendeth my way…” But there are some days, and some moments, when peace seems far way. Out of the blue, someone says something totally innocuous, and you know in your heart of hearts that it was never meant unkindly, but it caught you off guard. And SLAM, you are in a head-on collision with Doubt. Like a black air bag it slams into your face, and within moments, fills the room. You are left feeling as if everything in front of your face is dark, pressing in against your body, with no way out.
It would be fantastic if that airbag of doubt deflated just as quickly as it had come, but it has a habit of lingering. Sometimes I visualise it as growing like some black hot air balloon, inflated inside a room, with you pushed between it and the wall, doing a fine impression of a mime artist, hand-pawing your way around it, hoping to find the way out.
Doubt often acts as a comet, coming out of nowhere, and dragging debris in its wake. Tiny things that can usually be shrugged off get pulled along for the ride, aiming to stack up evidence of why you should worry and continue doubting – doubting yourself, your faith, your experience, and doubting God.
These are the moments when the only thing to do is breathe.
Breathe, and slow down the pace. Such times can throw your mind and more importantly, your spirit into confusion, where you question everything. But this is when you realise that the opposite of faith is not unbelief, but Doubt. Doubt causes us to question what we thought was true and valid.
As you breathe, slowly, God has the ability to soak over and into your spirit, like the gentlest of rain, allowing the airbag to deflate, and gradually subside.
Hold on in such moments.
They will pass…

Leave a Reply